It has been over 100 days (it’s been 210 days) since my last post. I wanted to write about some profound thing that I discovered in those 100 days of searching but I really couldn’t. I stalled, I would sign in to my blod, start writing, then read what I wrote and then say fuck it and delete it. So now it’s almost the end of the year and I have forgotten what I wanted to say. Oh well… Instead I will write a short recap of what happened from June to now. Photos included.
- I started working on my PhD applications again. I also recently submitted them all. 4 of them to the following universities: Carnegie Mellon, University of North Carolina, Michigan State, and Indiana University. I spoke with Andrew and I told them that this time I will not be holding my breath. I will not use the PhD as a way of escaping my current work situation.
- I am applying to new jobs. Any jobs. They don’t even have to be in museums or education.
- I have started to study for the Foreign Services Officer Exam.
- I discovered this amazing website: Seventeen Moments in Soviet History.
- I can hang out with friends and not feel like an outsider or a wallflower.
- I have been condensing my friends circle, refining my friends circle, and saying good bye to friends that just aren’t the people that I need/want in my life.
- I was honored in June for all my hard work at the museum. Instead of accepting it. I cried and felt like a big, fat phony. Ugh… the struggle for acceptance.
- I went shooting for the first time and it was fantastic!!
- I finally feel like I am part of my dance group.
- I turned thirty. As a result, my hair decided to straighten itself out. That’s right. I woke up one day, began losing my hair, it became thin, and its now just blegh…. I also I have horrible migraines every day during my periods.
- I am a Republican.
- I smile more.
- I got to see the Ballet Folklorico De Mexico De Amalia Hernandez. It was amazing. I couldn’t ask for a better performance. I loved it. I cried. I realized on that day that I was a performance artist. I might not be the best, the skinniest, or center stage but I am out there giving it my all.
- Andrew bought me a Disneyland Pass for my birthday. I love it. I love him and everything is awesome. Because of the Disneyland Pass we have been able to hang out with my friends, his friends, with little Grace. Again, I smile a lot more than I used to.
- Falling in love has been one of the best feelings in the world.
- This year was the first time I was close to weighing less than 200 pounds. I was able to get down to 201 on my birthday. Right now I weigh 208. And I’m okay with that because I am happy.
Ahhhh!!! This post made me cry happy tears for you! I love you chika, let’s do coffee or lunch or something in the New Year!