Last year around this time I wrote a blog post based on the 100 day challenge. I knew that I had to change something about myself because I was tired of being being depressed. I was tired of being around myself. I didn’t want to lose the war despite the fact that I was lost in my own head. So, I went to a journey to discover what made me happy. For 100 days I documented, through instagram, the things that made me happy. It was a rather successful challenge as I had proof that I was happy and that I could be happy. I now look at my photos and reminisce about the fun stuff that happened last year.

Because of the success, I decided to make my 100 day challenge a tradition: starting on May 28 of each year and ending on my birthday as a symbol of rebirth. With the help of my friend, Karen, and Jon, the Shaman, I have discovered that piece of myself that was always missing because I was choosing to deny my spirituality. In order for me to grow and fully heal I have to embrace my shamanism. This will be my journey.

I have a small community of friends who are helping me in the process. They have willingly accepted to be part of my tribe and because of that I honor them and cherish them in prayer and conversation. First and foremost, I have Andrew who travels with me, listens to me, and doesn’t judge me as I walk down this path. Instead he buys me books knowing that it will only lead to more conversations. Next are those who are on their own spiritual path such as Karen and Christopher. Without them I would be lost and they willing answer the many questions that I have. And finally I have Robyn, who walks, literally walks, by my side as I heal and strengthen my physical body.

I found the encouragement to begin the journey after I finished reading one of the many books that Andrew bought me. I really enjoyed reading The Shaman’s Spirit because for the first time I knew what I needed to do. It was everything that I knew I wanted to do but didn’t think I could or that I should. In a very condensed summary of the book, I expect to accomplish the following:

  • Create an incense holder
  • Make a shaman blanket
  • Create power animal fetishes for Jaguar, Crow, and Hummingbird
  • Make my ritual dressings
  • Find my sacred place: It is not the Grand Canyon
  • Go on a vision quest
  • Journey to the other-world
  • Create a sacred place for my altar
  • Rebuild my altar
  • Connect with Jaguar on a consistent basis with the hope that he will grant me the opportunity to shape-shift into a jaguar
  • Understand the medicine wheel
  • Create a tree of life
  • Create pots or decorate pots for my plants
  • Mark my body
  • Begin gardening
  • Explore incense and find what I need in my life: Sandalwood, lavender, and jasmine take me to a place that I remember but have never been to. 
  • Find my music
  • Create my destiny altar

When I decided to go on this adventure I knew that I had more than one animal protecting/guiding me. Jaguar has always been there for me despite the fact that I never recognized him. Again my choice, not his. But since my cleansing, I acknowledge him respectfully and welcome him where ever I am at. Sometimes, he does scare me like the time I woke up in the middle of the night because I heard my name, followed by eerie silence and finally pacing. I was scared at first but I quickly fell asleep. Jaguar moved without fear in the darkness and I am grateful that he was and is protecting me and empowering me. He pushes me through the chaos that I am experiencing but I also have Crow with me.

I still don’t know why but I see Crow all the time. I acknowledge him but am rather reserved with him. I know that we shall speak about the changes that are taking place and about my ancestors. In time I hope to be part of a past life retrieval so I can better understand my journey. Crow who does not adhere to time and space will be my guide.

And finally, Hummingbird. There have been instances of when I’m dancing or when I am really excited/happy that Hummingbird begins to dance with me. It’s been a very eye opening experience. I didn’t even realize that I gravitate towards him until you see me smile. I always find him flying about even though he has traveled far. He is relentless in his journey and knows only love.

I can’t wait to share with all you what this journey may bring.